Breakfast Chats: Our 14 Years Together

And a happy life update

“Breakfast Chats” is a lighter series, where I share short musings and conversational tidbits about life things, like you would with a friend over breakfast. It’s a regular, monthly feature that I’ve made open for access to all subscribers, both free and paid.

I have some chicken broth simmering away on the stove right now and the kitchen is filled with the warmth of slow-cooked comfort. I’m always excited to make broth during winters and so I picked up the supplies for it during our last grocery trip. The plan is to bottle it up and have it throughout the week. So, while it cooks away in the background, let’s get into our breakfast chats for today.

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1. OUR WEDDING ANNIVERSARY

It was Nabeel and my wedding anniversary earlier this week, our 14^th together. This year, we just wrote each other letters and Nabeel put up a small, festive string for me as a surprise in our room while I was out (some of you might have seen that on my insta). He’s been very busy with a project this month and so we didn’t really think of anything beyond this.

You know, a couple of days ago, I was thinking about how it’s such a special thing to share so many years of your life with someone; you start to see a gradient of your life even in your celebrations. Over these fourteen years, we’ve seen pretty much all the anniversaries; ones where we traveled, or booked a staycation, or those where we just stayed home and cooked for each other. Then the times one of us forgot about the day, or when we surprised the other.

Last year, same time, when Nabeel couldn’t find work for months and we didn’t know when he would. 12 months later, where he has so much on his plate and feels fulfilled and challenged.

You see a map of your life across your special days and it’s really humbling. And it just reminds you that it will never really be about exactly what you do, but about how big your love is through all the grand and not-so-grand parts of it. How you supported one another through the different phases of each other’s life. And that hopefully when you look back, you see your devotion and affection for each other as the most visible thing across the decades.

This year genuinely felt like our best anniversary ever. Now, I’m not delusional so I can understand that it probably sounds not true, because we’ve done far more “fun” things before this. But I think genuine respect and honor for each other adds a spiritual weight to any relationship, romantic or otherwise. And with the growing years, that spiritual weight can make even the simpler things feel deeper like that. Anyway, Nabeel if you’re reading this, happy anniversary to you here as well :)

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2. A HAPPY LIFE UPDATE

I have a little surprise to share. Remember when I said that we’d been looking around to adopt a cat? Well…we’ve found ours! A few weeks ago, we happened to meet the cutest kitten that both Nabeel and I gave our hearts to within seconds. He’s a rescue and is currently with the sweetest foster family who have been taking care of him until he’s old enough to be adopted, which is hopefully going to be very soon.

This past month has been the most fun with us going to meet him and planning for all the things to welcome him home. It’s so funny how things come together, and how you see that they’re just meant to be, because in a massive city like Sydney, where everyone is almost always a half hour away, his foster carer lives five minutes from us! And so, we’ve been making secret trips on Friday nights to go see him and just hang out. I honestly cannot thank them enough because they’ve been allowing us into their home every week and just because of that we’ve been able to connect with him and see him grow up from the tiny little furball that he was when they found him. I’ve also been doing all the other cat things, like shopping for his food and litter, trying to learn the basics, and then just staring at his pictures and videos multiple times a day. I cannot wait for him to be home soon.

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3. ONE HABIT AT A TIME

I was finally able to resume my morning walks after a long gap of a few months. I had been struggling a lot since the start of this year to fix my routine that had just been all over the place for some reason (and it still is, by the way). But you know, the only thing that worked for me was letting go of the idea of slipping into a “perfect” routine; I just realised that there was never going to be that one magical day where I’d wake up and do all the things that I wanted to do. So, I decided to pick one thing and let everything else be. I thought I’d start with reading but it didn’t work. I picked up a book, I didn’t read it. So, then I decided to go straight to my morning walks because I realised that nothing fixes me like being out early in the day and I just knew that if I could do that, I’d feel mentally fresh for doing other things. And honestly, that worked.

I still have so many things that are out of line; my bedtime is a little off, I’m still not as active as I’d like to be, but we’ll do them one at a time. I’m going to try picking one thing every week or so, and I know it’s going to be really slow that way. But you know, these are the times it’s good to remember that we’re all seasonal so it’s alright to go off and on. We should start with things that come easy to us, which means you have to be connected to what you truly want to be able to understand that. And always…progress over perfection.

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4. WEEKEND PLANS

This weekend is going to be pretty much only dedicated to our little cutie coming soon. I want to go pick up a few kitty things for him that are still left; stuff like food bowls, a grooming brush, a blanket for him to snuggle into (it’s winters, so want him to be cosy). And then I also want to make a small thank you package for his foster family, so I’ll get some chocolates and a nice card. I think I’m also going to bake them something. Anyway, those are my plans for the weekend, hope you have a lovely one.

See you in a couple of weeks with this month’s larger issue ☼

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Please heart this post if you enjoyed it. ‘A Slow Afternoon’ is a no-comment space by choice, to keep your reading free of instant reactions, just like the times of only newspapers and magazines where we had the time and mental space to form our own thought independently at first.

I also wanted you to know that all through this year, a portion of your paid subscription is being donated to the crisis in Sudan via Muslim Aid. You can let me know your thoughts later by sending me a message. Bye.

Music Credit: The music in my voiceover background is ‘Milky’ by Ninn Tendo.