Breakfast Chats: A Happy Little Secret
And a big highlight for A Slow Afternoon
“Breakfast Chats” is a lighter series, where I share short musings and conversational tidbits about life things. It’s a regular, monthly feature that I’ve made open for access to all subscribers, both free and paid.
Welcome back! So I have lots to catch you up on so let’s jump right into this week’s Breakfast Chats.
1. SUBSTACK JOYS ☼
I want to start today’s issue with some good news. So sometime last week, I was just doing some work stuff on my phone, and I got this ping for a notification on Substack. I clicked through and it said that A Slow Afternoon was a rising newsletter.
What is that you ask? The Rising list on Substack is basically the fastest-growing publications within a category based on paid subscription growth. And so, within the Culture category, we were on the Rising list.
You can imagine my excitement, I presume :)
I’ve talked about this before but writing this newsletter has been such a project from the heart. At the time I started, several people in my audience, or social circle even, did not know or understand Substack and it initially felt like an uphill battle to help it gain legitimacy.
Which is why I’ve always been so thankful to everyone who’s gone against the grain and blessed me with their time and subscriptions. You have no idea what it has meant. From an unknown newsletter to being in a list like this, I’m honestly so proud of how far we’ve come.
Now if anyone wants to say it, you’re subscribed to a bestseller newsletter that’s among some of the fastest growing on the platform. Feel absolutely free to show off, hah.
But I do want to add a little detail which I can skip but I never want to.
I’m not in the Top 10 or 20 but actually at #66 right now. To many that may seem not that significant, but why I’m sharing that because I want us to remember that success does not have one face. Would I be happier at #1? Perhaps, if it doesn’t take away more from my life than it gives. But I’m also happy at 66 and I think life is about being happy with where you are, if what you have feeds your soul and matches your priorities.
I think we often don’t want certain things, but because the world says that we should have them, we aspire for those things. Not fully understanding that maybe having those things would actually make us unhappy or unavailable for our families or take away our personal time to rest, relax, read books, go out, enjoy or just chill and do nothing.
I do want to grow and rise and be better but I’m happy now, and I feel successful now, and that’s what really matters.
I texted Nabeel that day with a screenshot of my little achievement. And I jokingly said it’s quite low…but that I’m still happy. And he said, “66 out of God knows how many thousands”.
And that’s what I want all of us to remember, perspective is important, and it is everything. But because we can compare things not to our past us, but to everything and everyone in the world, our wins can often shrink in our eyes.
Success can be shiny and glossy, but it can also be quiet and steady, and I never want to forget that it doesn’t only have to be the former to be real.
Be proud of who you are with your small life and small wins and if/when those wins get bigger, feel prouder.
Thank you for bringing me here.
2. CURRENT FAVORITE THING
I think my favorite thing these days is wrapping up for the day after dinner, closing down the kitchen, and sliding under the bedcovers with a hot cup of chai. Winters will be coming soon to our part of the world, and with the temperature slowly dropping here, our nights have been getting chilly. And so, with a warm cup of chai in your hands, snuggled into a comfortable bed, and a long evening stretched out ahead of you, thanks to long winter nights, this I think is what a premium experience in everyday life is :)
Think about your current favorite thing. I think doing that adds a certain brightness to your life and are the things that your memories are made of.
3. A HAPPY SECRET
So, a little secret that we’ve been carrying the past few weeks is that we’ve been actively looking at getting a cat for us. Nabeel and I have been actually talking about it since a year now, but I wanted to be fully ready before taking on the commitment and so whenever he’d say, let’s just get one, I’d be like, let’s wait a little bit more. Even uptil a couple of months ago, when it came up again, and I just deferred it to next year.
What I didn’t know was that a friend would ask us to feed his cat while they were traveling and that just doing that for a couple of weeks would have the both of us fully ready for ours.
I shared a little bit about it on insta but what I haven’t felt ready to post there yet (for some reason) is that we’ve gone to meet one kitty already and it was such a sweet experience. We want to get a rescue so we’ve been scouring adoption websites whenever we can. We found one in a foster home a few days ago and luckily could go meet her fairly quickly. She was a little shy at first but gradually warmed up to us, which was so, so sweet.
We do want to go meet one more before we make a decision and hopefully the rescue center also picks us. But we’re so excited about this unexpected turn of emotions and events. So looking forward to having our little kitty soon.
4. THINGS TO LOOK FORWARD TO
Speaking of looking forward to things, I didn’t think last month’s issue would get my own self sorted this much, but it really did. If you missed it, I wrote about having space for fun in life, and it honestly really reset things for me.
Issue No. 19: Do you have fun in your life?
About two years ago, sometime during the winter, Nabeel and I had planned a date night and took a train out to the city. It was this perfect-kind-of a chilly night, the city lights felt warm and festive, and we walked arm-in-arm snuggled together, through streets buzzing with the chatter & laughter of people. We had a nice dinner, even better dessert, and ended up at a standup comedy show where we honestly laughed so much, that I actually had to go the whole next week without my voice. As we were walking back to the train station at the end of that night, I remember thinking how doing something different from our usual had made our hearts feel so light.
Since then, we’ve been making small plans to do more stuff outside; while making sure we don’t overdo things either; always the fastest way to crash and burn. We went for a really lovely hike last weekend, came back feeling so fresh and clear-headed. And next I’m planning to take Nabeel out on a lunch date at the end of this month after which I want to take him to a dessert place that we’ve been wanting to try.
It’s so interesting that having things to look forward to infuses this buzz into your life. It changes your conversations, gives you things to connect on, chat about. We’ve been doing all these simple, inconsequential things, but that have added a lightness to our day. We’ve been looking at the menu online, discussing things like do we want to go by train or car, what flavors we want to try for the dessert.
Btw, we struggle with doing more planned things so that’s what we’re making an effort for. Everyday play comes more naturally to us, and I thought I’d specify that once again, in case someone didn’t read the issue and associates the idea of fun with just doing activities outside or having to spend money.
One of my really good friends read that issue and texted me something that was spot on: “Raunaq/festivity is a mindset” and I couldn’t agree more (raunaq is an Urdu word that I used in the issue, and she made a reference to that). So, whether you do a lunch date outside or a movie at home on a Friday night, I think looking forward to small plans does so much for your mental health, relationship health, all kinds of health.
Make a cute little plan for yourself tonight ☼
5. WEEKEND PLANS
This weekend is a mixed bag of so many things: We’ll be going to vote, pick up supplies for one of Nabeel’s hobby projects, maybe have breakfast outside. I also want to get Nabeel’s help for about an hour with shooting something for work because he’s been too busy during this week. But most importantly, I want to have long calls with my older niece and nephew in Pakistan and catch up on their life things.
Hope you have a lovely weekend. See you in a couple of weeks with this month’s larger issue.
Please ♥︎ this post if you enjoyed it. ‘A Slow Afternoon’ is a no-comment space by choice, to keep your reading free of instant reactions, just like the times of only newspapers and magazines where we had the time and mental space to form our own thought independently at first. I also wanted you to know that all through this year, a portion of your paid subscription is being donated to the crisis in Sudan via Muslim Aid. You can let me know your thoughts later by sending me a message. Bye.
Music Credit: The music in my voiceover background is ‘Milky’ by Ninn Tendo.